Uncuckness

My prior post left off with me being worried about not stressing sex with my wife enough when she forced me to share my fantasies with her. It turns out I wasn’t in a lot of trouble for that. She was just distracted with other things in her life. I interpreted her lack of response to my explanations as me being in the doghouse. Wrong.

We talked at length over dinner yesterday about chastity, sex between us, and other related topics. These was more Real Talking, outside of our D/s roles. She surprised me with a few things. One was that she doesn’t consider celibacy for herself a bad thing. She’s previously gone for up to 2 years (e.g. between marriages) without sex. As she put it, “I can direct that energy elsewhere.” It doesn’t take long before it’s just not that important to her.

She concedes that it’s probably much different for a female to do that than for a male. At that point she smiled, looked at me, and said “You probably didn’t think about that possibility when you agreed to let me lock you up and decide when you’re released, did you?” And it’s true, I certainly did not consider that she’s let us both go without sex for perhaps years.

I was also surprised to hear that she has no interest in sex with other men. That was quite a letdown for me. She is quite comfortable teasing me about being a cuckold. But it sounds like I’m not likely at all to actually become one. I feel bad that my chastity then limits her access to all intercourse. That was not my intention – but the decision is hers. I did not push the issue.

This morning I changed things up a little. I wore only my large leather collar for the morning’s housework (dishes, cleaning the floor, etc). It was interesting being naked instead of crossdressed. My wife seemed amused, but otherwise impartial about it, which left me feeling very slave-like. Later she admitted she had all sorts of feelings about seeing me working naked (she felt powerful, sometimes aroused, etc), but purposely did not let me know about them to reinforce my servitude. Nicely done, Mistress.

I gave her a present today. It was a card offering some items that she could use on me if and when she wanted to, including never. Sounds like bottoming from the top, perhaps. But consider this: I hate needles. I actually can pass out just watching a shot, or when giving blood. My gift was a set of needles and alcohol wipes. The card highlighted that this was about letting my boundaries be in her hands, how much I trust her, and giving myself fully to her. It feels really scary to turn that over, but I wanted to.

I have to end early tonight. She just went upstairs and told me she will be thinking about me licking her pussy. I don’t want her to lose that thought before I can join her in bed.