Cucktime

[ My last post, Pre-cuck, from several weeks ago seems prescient.  This post actually happened for real yesterday and today. ]

My wife spent some time Thursday night reinforcing the inadequacy of tiny, her name for my cock.  She even used a tape measure against my semi-hard penis, purposely measuring a little off, and announcing the result as “less than three inches!”.  Again she made fun of my dick by sticking up her pinky, then bending it over to illustrate it’s limpness.

I felt embarassed, and agreed with her that I had a worthless cock.  I apologized and told her that she deserves better.  She agreed, but said that she seemed to be stuck with my pointless thing.  I meekly concurred.  This type of humiliation has been happening pretty regularly over the last couple of weeks.

She wanted to try food coloring again on tiny.  This time she mixed the red and green to make a very dark color.  She painted it thickly on my cock and balls, turning them nearly black.  It was weird but kind of cool.  She said she was hoping that if tiny looked black he might look bigger.  I suggested it was pretty sacrilegious for my tiny dicklette to pretend to be a big black cock.  She agreed that it was a rather meaningless effort.

Friday at work we exchanged some text messages.  It blew my mind.

She asked me what tiny was up to, teasing further with “perhaps three inches?”  I replied that he was currently much less than that.

She wrote “He’s so pointless.”  I responded with “Yes, Mistress. I’m very sorry that you have to suffer with my completely inadequate excuse for a penis.”

She sent “Your apologies don’t really help. What I need is an adequate dick.”  I wrote “Yes, Mistress, you do so deserve that.”

Her next message blew me away: “I’ll find one.”

My mind was reeling.  I could barely think enough to reply “Yes, Maam”. She wrote back “A black one.”  I sent: “That sounds like it would be very pleasurable for you.”

I then wrote “Soon my useless cock will be locked away where you can forget about it, or ridicule it as you wish. Your needs must be addressed.”

Her reply again shocked me: “They will be… and u will be my cuckolded thing”.

I was stunned.  She finally said it.  She is thinking about making me her cuckold.  Even more than that, she specifically wants to find a nice black cock to fuck her.  Instead of me.

I sent back:  “Yes Mistress. I want you to be happy and satisfied.”  She replied: “Yes I will be as soon as tiny is locked up.”

I wrote back that I’ll move forward with sizing and ordering a new, secure chastity device, subject to her prior approval.

It’s hard to describe what I’m feeling.  I’m scared, yet excited.  What have I gotten myself into?  Things started with chastity, and apparently on her own she’s taking it to the next level to cuckolding.  Sure I’ve fantasized about it.  But this is sounding suddenly very real.  Will I be able to cope with her fucking other men while my cock withers away in a locked cage?

What will she do with me?  I have no idea what is in her mind about me being her cuckold.  Will she make me watch them?  Only listen?  Leave me elsewhere while she lets other men make love to her?  OMG, we’re talking about my wife, the woman I married, deciding that she is going to have sex with other men.

So many questions flying through my mind.  Will she fuck them in our bed?  Will she have any reason to ever unlock me?  Is she ever going to let me inside her again?  Are her lovers going to ridicule me too for being a chaste, wimpy, sissy cuckold?  What would I possibly say when she introduces me to her lovers?  I still can barely believe this is happening.

Ok, take a breath.  All I really know at this point is that she wants me locked up.  Then she seems to have plans to get her sexual needs satisfied without me.  This is a level of letting go that feels so intense.  Turning all this over to her… wow.

I am submissive.  I truly want her to be happy.  I’m scared, but that cannot get in the way of her pleasure.  I love her so much.  She will have what she desires, I want that for her.

Pre-Cuck

[ Note: I wrote this about 3 weeks ago, and it is timely for me to post it now.  My next posting will be current and a shocker. ]

This whole idea of being a real-life cuckold has been on my mind a lot lately, with good reason.  It seems that my wife and keyholder may have put us on a path to go there.

Is that what I want?  Based on the sheer quantity of cuckold-related sites on the net, it’s clear a lot of men have fantasies about it.  I do to.  But having it actually become part of your marriage and day-to-day life…?

In the past she has asked me straight-out how I would feel about watching another man fuck her.  Back then I said that I wasn’t sure I could handle the emotional aspects of that.  She’s my wife, and some part of me didn’t want to let go of that specialness that only she and I shared.

But my actual reality now is: that’s gone.  With me locked-up long-term, and lately she’s insisted that she won’t be letting my cock inside her.  So that door seems to be closing.  There’s not much point in resisting reality, is there?  If she doesn’t want intercourse with me, then that’s that.

However, I’ve always felt strongly that she deserves as much sexual pleasure as she wants, even at the expense of mine.  That’s been true throughout our relationship.  And I still feel that way.  It isn’t fair that she should have to give up intercourse because my cock happens to be locked away.

The other issue of course is how she feels about my cock.  She calls it tiny, and at some level she probably does really see it as inadequate.  She brings it up constantly lately, and I’m believing it myself.

She deserves intercourse, and I very much want her to have that.  I guess it’s just a detail that it’s not going to be with me.  I support her in achieving sexual pleasure for herself.  It’s extremely important to me that she be happy, especially sexually.

How will I actually feel when it happens?  That first time, when another man’s cock slides inside her, can I handle that?  A while ago I would have said “probably not, emotionally”.  Now, things feel different.  I want it more for her than I don’t want it for me.  Maybe it won’t be easy, but it seems right.

I guess that means I am in favor of my wife fucking other men.  I sincerely want that for her.  My wish is that she claims all the sexual pleasure for herself that she wants. I support her needs 100%.

Ok. Feeling some resolution on that issue, my mind turns to how things will be then.  And I realize that I need to let all that go.  I have a million questions:  How will they meet?  Will I like him?  How will the dynamics of our life change?  Will they let me watch or be of use to them while they copulate?  Will he want to use me too?

I have to let it go.  I need to stick with my naturally submissive attitude on this and to reliquish all the control to my wife.  I know she loves me, and I am willing to let her make all those decisions.

I have decided to become an obediant, willing cuckold, if that’s what she wants.