Idling

It’s been several more weeks, and the CB-3000 continues to sit on the dresser (rather than locked on my cock). Her health has returned, and we’re being sexual again.  The orgasm imbalance continues, with her having 2-3 orgasms for each 1 of mine.

My wife continues to tease me quite often about Tiny (her name for my cock).  Today she humiliated me at a little town fair. She had me stand in front of a Tiny Tim donut booth, point down to my cock, and took a picture.

In a couple of weeks we will be going to another big play party out of town.  She’s planning to bring plenty of things to crossdress me again, and has talked about having me be a slut there, sucking cocks and maybe more.

I find myself daydreaming about a secure and long-term chastity device on myself, and her deciding that she wants to have sex with other men. Being forced to be her cuckold turns me on as a fantasy, and always has.  I just have my doubts about how I’d manage if it actually happened in real life. I know for her it wouldn’t be a big deal, as she was in the swinger lifestyle for a while in a previous marriage. So sex with others isn’t a big deal for her, although she hasn’t done that yet in our relationship.  So it feels like a line that we haven’t crossed.  Yet?

There’s a part of me that fears the emotional reaction I might have to seeing another man penetrate my wife.  It would make real my fears of feeling inadequate to her, which is something we play with but that I know isn’t actually true.  I can see myself crying as a cock other than my own fucks my spouse, as I watch and hear them bring each other to orgasm.  I envision myself tied to a chair, naked but in chastity, cock trying to get erect but ashamed to be turned on, not wanting to watch my wife be violated but unable to look away, as tears stream down my face while they lay together panting as the last of his cum seeps out of him and into her.

There’s another part of me that is greatly aroused by the power exchange, letting her control her sexuality and mine completely.  To know that she’s getting dressed up for another lover.  To meet the Other Man and watch the two of them get physically close.  To assist them in taking their clothes off and watch them get into bed together, as I stand apart from them.  To have to guide his erection into her wet pussy.  To clean them both with my mouth and tongue, tasting his semen in my wife’s vagina, and her juices on his cock.  To be laughed at for being a cuckold, a sissy, wimpy husband who doesn’t even get to have sex with his own wife, who acts like a servant to other men who have their way with her.  And to watch her enjoy it all.

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