The Talk #2

I suspected it was going to happen. We had another discussion yesterday, a followup to The Talk. I sort of knew it was coming.

She said she had some more questions, and we needed to talk about it without the D/S (Dominant/submissive) overhead. She wanted my real-life answers. She started by pointing out that I have asked a lot recently about having sex with her, and that apparently that’s something I want. I agreed. So she asked why I wanted to be locked up and cuckolded.

I thought about it for a moment, and asked her if we could start with the assumption that my cock is inadequate for her to be sexually satisfied by me. She said no (although we would return to that topic shortly). So then I pointed out that chastity play has been, on and off, part of our relationship since we met. And that the new device is just a new level of that play (inescapable lock-up).

I also revisited my new sense of wanting to submit more completely to her, including turning over my sexuality to her. It’s not that I’d never have sex or orgasms, it’s that she would get to decide what and when. I conceded that I do want to have sex with her, very much, but that I consider her pleasure of much higher priority than mine. It’s about upgrading the power exchange in our relationship, and me giving her total control.

She seemed ok with that, and then surprised me by asking if I was doing this willingly. I said that I certainly was, and that I felt no sense of coercion or pressure at all from her. My goal is to make her happy and to deepen my submission and service to her.

“What about your cock?” she asked. “Do you really believe – for real – that it’s inadequate?” I told her that until recently I did not, but I’m honestly not 100% sure any more. She said “Is that because I suggested that I’ve been faking orgasms with you for years? Do you think I’m that much of a liar?” Ok, I thought to myself, a little more of a minefield here than I expected…

I explained that I didn’t see it as lying if she was being kind by not calling me a terrible lover with a useless cock. I told her that I didn’t think she had been faking orgasms, but really, how would I truly know? I said that now I am going to trust what she tells me, regardless of what I thought I knew before. She took a few moments to take that all in, and said “Ok.”

I went over to her, knelt in front of her, and hugged her. She rubbed my head a little. I worked up some courage and asked her “Am I an inadequate lover?”. She burst out laughing. “Well, it wasn’t easy for me to fake all those orgasms over these ten years, you know. I only did it so you’d hurry up and cum, and then get that useless thing out of me.” Emotionally it was like a slap, but in an oddly good way. I felt like smiling and crying. I just said “Yes, Ma’am, I’m so sorry.”

Later in the day we were driving in the car, and she asked some more questions. “So, once you’re locked up, how often do you expect that you’d be getting sex? Once every one, or maybe two, years?” I was shocked. “Two years?!?” I cried. Would my wife really not allow me to fuck her for years? “Well, how often then? Weeks? Months?” she asked. I fumbled for words, and said “I don’t know, maybe months?”

“Well,” she started, “I’m not sure I see the point at all. I consider you my cuckold already, even though you’re not locked up yet. And since I’ll be meeting my needs by having sex with other men and women, I don’t know why I’d want you back inside me.” I responded “Yes, Mistress. The decisions about when I get released, and what for, are yours, not mine.” She flatly stated “Yes, that is very true.”

I’m amazed at her mind-fuck proficiency. She had me admit my sense of reality, but didn’t play her hand as to what her reality was. My perception is that I likely was an adequate lover in years past, but she’s been completely consistent lately about undermining that perception. Although I suspect she’s playing the game hard, I can’t say for 100% certain that she didn’t fake orgasms.

love licking clit

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Yesterday my behavior was very good all day. She rewarded me by letting her lick her clit at bedtime, helping her achieve an orgasm. After she had enjoyed the afterglow of her pleasuring, I asked her if that orgasm was real. She gave a little laugh, and said that it was, and how good it felt. She’s feeling better lately physically and is quickly returning to her prior state of being horny most of the time.

She told me that, if my behavior today is excellent, she would reward me. I have no idea what that is, but I’m hoping for something nice.