Healing, slowly

I haven’t written any updates lately because there’s been little to write about. Most of my activities with my wife and Mistress have been curtailed due to issues with post-surgical healing. But things are looking up.

My first 6-7 weeks post-op went quite well. Minimal pain, considering that this was major surgery. But then things started to hurt, and hurt more. For various reasons I wasn’t able to get the medical attention I needed until last week. And even then things aren’t 100% resolved yet.

So, unfortunately, The Drawer still remains unused for it’s intended purpose. Mistress has talked about it recently, though. I’m hoping to post a few pictures of the D-rings that I mounted in The Drawer for eventual restraining uses.

I specifically asked my doctor about resuming anal sex, and she was fine with it. Since then, Mistress has made it clear that she intends to go there sometime soon. Not sure what she has in mind, stay tuned.

And for more updates about how my Gender Confirmation Surgery is really going, see my other blog “Blooming Time”.

Yellow and black

Mistress has been using me more and more to relieve herself at night. As I wrote a few weeks ago here, we have a new toy to help her easily urinate into my mouth.

Lately it’s been several times per week that she will “save herself a trip to the bathroom”. She will hop out of bed, come over to my side, and I will move my head to be just off the bed.  She puts one end of the soft funnel gently over pussy, and the other end in my open mouth. Then she pees while I swallow.

When she’s done she lets me lick her briefly (in place of using toilet paper or tissue). Then she crawls contentedly back into bed with a nice empty bladder.

Sometimes she lets me know she appreciates my service to her by saying to me afterwards: “Thank you, toilet.” It’s a sign of my submissiveness and servitude that I feel happy to hear that.

My routine afterwards is to first “flush”, which is to rinse the funnel with some water (always in a bottle next to the funnel) – swallowing it of course. That keeps it clean and ready for her next use. I wash it weekly.

I also rinse my mouth with some mouthwash, also nearby and handy. Mistress doesn’t like me to have a yucky mouth or “pee breath” in case we talk or she wants me to service her or even to kiss me.

Another real life event: We were having some ice cream, sitting on a bench outside at a shopping area. We were talking and she noticed this muscular black man nearby. The conversation stopped as she focused her attention on him, saying things like “yeah” and “Mmmmm”.

Then she turned to me and said “Look at his arms”. I did. His skin was beautifully dark, and he clearly worked out a lot. His biceps and triceps were well defined. He could easily kick my ass. I said to Mistress “He has very nice arms. I bet you’d like to feel them around you.” She scoffed, and immediately replied “It’s not his arms I want to feel,” and she went back to watching him.

Eventually she returned our attention to us, after letting out a contented sigh. Clearly she was enjoying a nice little fantasy in her head featuring this dark, handsome stranger.

I know part of why she likes to do this is to humiliate me. But I honestly don’t know how far she would go with it. I wonder if someday she will take it further, maybe openly flirt with other men in front of me. Actually, it will probably be a lot easier for her to do that now that I’m looking like a woman more and more with her in public.

We’ve also talked about how my sex-change situation might affect our sexuality and relationship. She has fears about me wanting a heterosexual relationship after I’m fully transitioned (and physically a female). I don’t see that happening, I have never liked cuddling or hugging or kissing guys. I’m only attracted to women.

However, she has talked about not knowing where her own sexual interests might go once I no longer have a penis. Being bisexual, she is very interested in lesbian sex with me, and we have explored some of that already. But she has wondered out loud with me if she might crave intercourse sometimes. Of course I support her in getting all her sexual needs met.

Which brings me to this question:  Would I be a cuckold if she had sex with other men after I become a woman? Legally I’m still her husband. But legally I will also be a female.  And we will undeniably have a lesbian relationship. What a twisted web we weave…

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