Two to One

Mistress woke me up this morning to use me to pleasure her to two orgasms. We were still in bed.

She started by arousing me. That turns her on, since we both know that I can’t orgasm or even have an erection being locked up as I am. She loves to torment me and watch me crave and beg for relief, knowing that the keys are in her sole control.

Once she had my attention, she sat her sexy naked body on my chest, then moved her crotch to be directly in my face. She grabbed my hair and pulled my face against her pussy. I didn’t need any further instructions, and began licking her clit.

She moved down a bit further so I could apply more pressure. Then she instructed me to bend my knees so my legs formed an incline for her to rest on. I continued lapping at her sex, and soon she had her first orgasm. I gently caressed her while she relaxed in her happy space.

She moved closer again, and my tongue found it’s way inside her. She started rotating her hand slowly on her sensitive nub while I orally penetrated her. I felt so happy to be pleasuring her. It didn’t take long for her second orgasm to wash over her. Then she rolled off, crawled back under the blankets, and instructed me to cuddle with her.

I thanked her for the opportunity to serve her. She just stroked my hair. I held her and let her enjoy her time of post-orgasmic bliss.

For my Saturday chores, Mistress let me wear my formal housekeeping dress instead of my everyday housekeeping dress. The formal one is black instead of light grey. And it looks best with black hose and black heels, instead of the white tights and white work shoes I normally wear. She complimented me on how nice the kitchen floor looked after I swept and hand-washed it on my hands and knees. I did lots of other chores too.

While changing for an evening event, she came up behind me and leaned me over the end of our bed. She played with my nipples, which arouses me intensely. I was only in my panties, and she was grinding her crotch against my ass pretending to fuck me. She kept stimulating me and I was moaning.

To my surprise she retrieved a dildo, slid a condom on it, lubed it up, and slid it inside me. Then she returned to playing with my nipples while she penetrated my behind. Again I was whining and moaning, craving release. Then she presented an even bigger surprise. She retrieved the keys to my chastity cage from the safe and tossed them on the bed.

“You’ve been such a good girl lately, I think I’ll allow tiny to squirt just once.” I wasted no time in removing the PA-lock and cage. My partial erection from all the stimulation made it difficult to pull the cage off my cock. Of course I managed. Then she was behind me sliding the dildo in and out while flicking one of my nipples with her other hand. I steadied myself with one hand and jerked off with the other, spraying a large amount of cum.

My orgasm was intense and wonderful, but it really struck me how brief it was. My legs were wobbly afterwards. I was really aware that the build-up and physical release was fleeting, and then it was gone and I was off cleaning up and putting things away. While I really enjoy those moments of pleasure, I somewhat regret how quickly they pass. My wife seems to enjoy much more time of post-orgasmic bliss.

Although she had two orgasms today and I had one, she’s had a total of five during this latest lockup.  Combining this with my last round, she’s had 11 orgasms to my 2 over the last 4.5 weeks.

A couple hours later Mistress interpreted something I said as harsh and snippy. “I can sure tell that you had an orgasm.” I politely disagreed, but she wouldn’t have it. “With an attitude like that, I’m not sure I’ll ever let you have another orgasm.” I stopped disagreeing.

So, my next period of chastity begins. I hope she will use me for her pleasure again soon. If I cannot orgasm, I at least want her to be happy.

Male Chastity Devices

In this post I’m going to discuss some of my perspectives on male chastity devices. I will focus on their purpose and security issues. And I will detail how we dealt with these issues in my current experience of chastity.

Prevention

The two main purposes I see for locking up a man’s genitals are: control and prevention. Much has been written about the ways that a keyholder can control the sexuality and behavior of someone locked into chastity. What and how to control is a very broad topic that I will not delve into today. My links page has a few good articles about control.

Prevention is an easier topic, being more limited and practical in nature. What activities does the device prohibit? I see three primary levels of prevention: stimulation, orgasm, and intercourse. Devices can prevent all, some, or even none of these. So when selecting a device, it seems important to know what you wish to prevent, and whether a given device actually achieves that goal.

In my situation my wife/Mistress/keyholder wants to prevent orgasms and intercourse, but she also wants access for stimulation as she loves to tease and deny. To prevent stimulation as well, a properly fitting full belt style device could be used to block all access.

Devices that enclose the penis can severely limit stimulation, but many can also transmit the sensations of a vibrator. For some men such vibrations can be enough to achieve an orgasm. For others (like me), a vibrator against my chastity device can only tease, arouse, and frustrate.

Tube or cuff style devices which fully expose the glans would not work for us. A tight, even painful, shaft restriction does not prevent me from being able to masturbate to release. It’s possible that I could even have intercourse and orgasm with such a device. I think they look interesting, but I suspect they would prevent very little sexual activity for me.

Another, secondary aspect of prevention is visual. Some devices show more of the male genitals than others. Cages and clear plastic models allow the penis to be seen, whereas tubes, opaque plastic, and full belts keep the cock partially or fully out of sight. Since men are sexually visual creatures, one opinion is that the inability to see their own manhood will increase the psychological impact of a chastity device. I think that would be true for me.

One advantage to visibility is that it allows the keyholder to see and possibly access the cock for teasing. I believe cage designs offer a sweet-spot of both visibility and minimal access for stimulation while severely limiting or preventing the ability to orgasm.

Visibility is also closely related to ease of cleaning, which in turn can relate to wearing time. Having to remove a device for periodic cleaning can be desirable or undesirable. In our situation, we appreciate being able to stay clean without having to remove the device.

Another secondary prevention feature of almost all chastity devices is limiting or preventing erections. Attempts to get hard will reinforce the state of being in chastity. Sometimes this can also interrupt sleep patterns due to nocturnal erections.

Some devices offer optional spikes to more severely discourage erections. Some keyholders enjoy this punishment effect, which can discourage behaviors like using pornography or having sexual fantasies, physiologically training him to actively avoid arousing situations. Keyholders can also use it to inflict genital pain by purposely arousing him.

A final secondary aspect of some devices is to prevent the use of urinals. I was able to stand and pee with my CB-3000, but not now. Always having to sit to pee reinforces being in chastity and can be humiliating. Some keyholders enjoy reinforcing this with sissiness or feminization teasing. All my boy underwear has been replaced by panties, for example.

Security

I’m going to use the word “inescapable”, but I must define it first. I consider a chastity device inescapable if the only way out of it requires: 1) damage to the device, 2) damage to the genitals, or 3) access to the key(s).

True inescapability is impossible in reality. I use the term instead to indicate a sufficiently high level of effort that the wearer would not or cannot accomplish.

I could easily escape from the CB-2000 and CB-3000 devices that we have used before. Without a piercing, I don’t believe that any ball-trap style device (even my current metal JailBird cage) could contain me. The flaccid penis can be amazingly flexible – stretching, bending, twisting, etc.

Tipping a ball-trap device forward allows me to easily pull out the back. When soft, I could just as easily slip back into it. I also know I’m creative and handy enough to easily defeat something like the Points of Intrigue. While I never did escape and masturbate, I always knew I could.

Trust enters the equation here. If chastity security relies on trust, then I don’t see the sense in spending money for a more physically secure device. In the extreme, no chastity device is even needed – the keyless keyholder just needs to set the rules (e.g. no orgasms without permission). “Faith-based” chastity, anyone? 🙂

For me, like most men interested in chastity, this level of sexual trust isn’t feasible. That’s a primary reason we get interested in chastity devices in the first place — we fail at self-control.

That’s why I am now locked into an inescapable chastity device. Neither of us wanted to have any worries once it was locked on and the keys were secured. And we’ve achieved that for much less than the cost of a full belt device (which Mistress doesn’t prefer anyway).

Like essentially all men in chastity, there is no way I would damage my chastity device or my cock in order to escape. Either type of action would be obvious to a keyholder and entail consequences much more severe than remaining in chastity. And this is a curious point to explore further.

One common consequence that a keyholder will build into a chastity agreement is the permanent termination of chastity in the relationship for breach of security. While this allows for a “safeword” style exit strategy, such a clause is likely never exercised. Being in chastity is a big deal, and ruining it forever is a huge deterrent. This aspect also eliminates lock picking as a viable approach.

A keyholder can thus leverage a strong interest in chastity into a very serious real-life chastity experience. Neither damage to the relationship nor ending chastity forever are ever seen as worth that risk. He ends up trapped, figuratively and literally.

Access to the keys can also be a trust issue. Are the keys hidden? Does she wear them (and is that really inaccessible)? Does he have a copy? How secure are the emergency keys? Again, relying on trust here defeats a goal of being in inescapable chastity. Fortunately one need not rely on trust to inexpensively attain key security.

Our Security System

The device I wear has two sets of keys. One pair of keys is for the PA-lock (which prevents pull-out). The other pair of “keys” are the only way to remove the high-security screw holding the cage to the base ring. That leaves us with two full sets of keys: her set, and an emergency set.

The emergency set of keys is encased in an inexpensive plastic key box specifically made for this purpose. Once closed, it cannot be opened without breaking it. So any access to the keys will be obvious to the keyholder. I keep this box in my car in case of a true emergency. Our agreement is that Mistress reserves the right to inspect it at any time. She has also custom-decorated the box itself, so replacing it with a new one isn’t an option.

Her set of keys is locked in a safe in our master bedroom. It’s a low-end but very secure biometric safe that opens using her fingerprint. She had me securely cable it into our closet, far away from our bed, to ensure that her fingers cannot come in contact with it while she sleeps. The safe can also be opened by a backup key, which she has hidden. Once she is confident about the safe working reliably with her fingerprint, it sounds like she will keep the backup keys with a relative (locked in their safe). Another option would be to use another emergency key box for the backup keys.

PA lock and JailBird

PA lock and JailBird

A penis piercing is a vital component of my inescapable chastity. Since a belt-style device is not for us, and since I can pull out of other devices, that only left one option. My Prince Albert piercing allows the the tip of my glans to be locked to the end of the JailBird cage. This completely prevents any possibility of pulling out.

Many other chastity devices can utilize a PA piercing to prevent pull-out. One concern I had about units with a PA “pin” was that a truly flaccid penis might stretch enough to pull off the pin. Since we wanted as short a cage as possible, this would have potentially left more shaft for “unhooking”. A longer cage might mitigate this, but at the risk of pulling on (and possibly migrating or damaging) the piercing hole.

Summary

One of our goals for chastity was to eliminate the need for trust-based chastity enforcement. A PA piercing was necessary to achieve our security goals. We also took some simple and relatively inexpensive steps to implement serious key security.

The device we selected allows for stimulation and well as easy cleaning and long-term use. The cage length restricts me to a humiliating length of less than 3 inches, and forces me to sit to pee.

The result is a device which I now wear continuously. I know I can’t escape it, and that helps. I don’t spend any effort trying to defeat it, leaving me more energy to focus on pleasing my keyholder. Your mileage may vary, but this is what we have found that works for us.

I’d love to hear your comments.

Time Flies

Week one of chastity has gone well. My wife/Mistress/keyholder has mercifully not teased me sexually very much. Indeed, the theme of the past week was more about corporal punishment for my transgressions.

On Saturday I messed up for a third time over the week. I accidentally mailed one of her favorite DVDs back to Netflix instead of the rented DVD. The good news is that Netflix customer support was awesome, and we’ll get her disk back in about a week, no problem. The bad news is that she was very disappointed that I made such a mistake at all.

I’m not sure if she intends more punishment for me or not. My ass is still working on the bruises left from my last ass paddling just a few days ago. She has been flaunting her sexy body in front of me more lately, such as before and after her showers, leaving me lusting after her beautiful breasts and wanting to smell and taste her pussy so very much. She really enjoys torturing me that way, knowing I can’t even start to get an erection.

I got to spend quite a bit of time crossdressed this weekend, which was great. As soon as I got home from work early Friday afternoon I changed out of my “boy clothes” and painted my nails red. Saturday morning my usual chores took a few hours, with me in my housekeeping dress of course. I had to go back to boy clothes (and nails) for an early Saturday evening family event.

Sunday morning I dressed up again, and in the afternoon something really awesome happened. My wife needed some groceries for dinner, and I offered to go to the store for her. I was half joking, since I was crossdressed. But she looked me over briefly, and said “Ok, just let me help you with your hair first”. Wow. I had done only a quick job on my hair, so she was easily able to improve it.

A few minutes later I was putting on the pink winter coat she recently bought for me, and had her shopping list in my hand. She asked me if I was ready for this, and I told her I definitely was. This would be the first time she will have sent me out in public crossdressed by myself. I was so excited and happy.

The shopping trip itself was uneventful. I found everything on her list and had no problems. No one even seemed to look at me twice. I felt full of confidence and just so content and “me”. Several times I seemed to forget that I was crossdressed, it seemed so natural to me. I used the self-check lane to ensure no issues between the obviously male name on my credit card and my appearance.

Upon my return, my wife and I talked about how it went. I told her how totally pleased I was about it all. She remarked that she will have to use me for her shopping errands more in the future. I’m sure I was just beaming, feeling proud to be able to serve her publicly as the sissy husband that I am.

Later that evening she remarked to me that she is really enjoying this “new me”. She talked about how there seems to be more “feminine energy” around me and in the house, which she is really likely. It’s resonating with her bisexual side, and she refers to me as her “lesbian lover” sometimes. Tonight she presented me with a new pair of flats that are fun and feminine.

This is a somewhat frightening process, though, I think for both of us. When she asks me if I think I am really a woman inside, my honest answer is maybe, but I don’t know yet. That’s why I’m talking to a counselor about my gender identity issues. It’s getting more weird to be in the world, at work and elsewhere day-to-day, as a male knowing of the possibility that I might be a female a few years in the future. Or maybe not. Only time will tell. The uncertainty is unsettling.

Something else became very apparent this weekend: my chastity device isn’t very compatible with crossdressing. That was a bummer to realize. I have to really mash my genitals down-and- back in order to not have a lump showing at the front of a skirt or dress. I may have to come up with a way to keep it tucked better.

I’ve also come to realize how naturally baggy boy pants are around the crotch. I wear panties every day with a medium pad (to catch drips). The pad really smooths things out in front, which is nice since the top post of the JailBird pokes out a bit and can show. So even with snug pants at work I feel my chastity is confidently hidden.

I still have no sense of how long Mistress will be keeping me locked up. A reader commented that I should suggest to Mistress a date like July 4th. My birthday is in July, so I joked earlier this week about knowing what she was going to give me for my birthday: release from chastity and an orgasm. I thought she’d find it at least a little humorous, but she didn’t.

Instead, I think she saw right through it as an attempt for me to essentially ask for a long period of being locked up. My best guess is that she didn’t appreciate me topping-from-the- bottom about my chastity. Our agreement is that it is 100% up to her. Her only comment was something like “just for that, I should keep you locked up until then.”

We both want her to have all of the control as regards my genitals and chastity. So I think I need to not push the issue, and just let her be totally in charge. Which is how it should be in our Female Led Relationship.

Punished

My wife, Mistress, and keyholder punished me yesterday for not following through on something I told her I would do. I failed to mail a letter for her. It sounds trivial, but I had explained to her how easy it would be for me to take care of it for her. Then I forgot.

I guess this is just a way for her to start enforcing the expectations she has for me. In fact, I’ve created a new page called Her Rules which will evolve as she clarifies the behaviors that she desires consistently from me.

When I got home from work yesterday she made clear that she would be punishing me. After dinner she told me to let her know when I had finished cleaning up and doing the dishes. It was clear to me then that she wasn’t going to waste any time getting to it.

Upstairs she had me strip and put myself in our 4-point restraints on the bed, face-down. She tightened the last one herself, making me helpless before her. She proceeded to beat my ass for about 30 minutes using first a belt, then a leather paddle, a cane, and other implements. During this she quizzed me about what I did wrong, how that must have made her feel, and what I will be doing differently.

Once she was satisfied with the redness of my butt, she surprised me with something new. She applied some of that muscle ointment that heats up, right on my stinging ass. It took a while for it to work, so while she was waiting she poured some isopropyl alcohol on it as well. The alcohol really stung, and then my whole ass got really hot. I was thrashing around, straining my bonds and yelping. She seemed quite amused, and left me to suffer for a while.

A short while later I was laying next to her. I was still naked, she was still fully clothed. She took the opportunity to play with my nipples. She had no mercy as she tortured me for another 20 minutes. Those little erogenous zones drive me into a sexual frenzy. I was straining so hard against my cage, trying to get erect. She laughed at my futile attempts to get any genital stimulation, as I pumped my hips into the air. I can’t help my carnal reaction. It’s humiliating, and she loves it.

She said it made her wet, and that her pussy was warm and moist. She teased me that she was thinking about letting me fuck her, but after my behavior, there was no way. I’m quite sure she has no intention of letting tiny (her name for my cock) inside her anytime soon. But she loves to torture me with the fantasy. Just thinking about being inside her makes me strain my cage. I was exhaused after all the torment of the evening.

The previous night she used my hand to give herself two orgasms before bed. We were spooning, and the bits of my cock that were squeezing between the bars of my cage could just barely feel her soft behind. She pulled my wrist between her thighs, and without being told, my fingers found her clit. She brought herself to the first orgasm by grinding against me as I laid still beside her.

Then she reached between her legs and felt my forearm. “Oh, that reminds me of how thick my black lover’s cock is. He is soooo big – nine inches! Last time he laid behind me, just like you are. Except his incredible cock was inside me. I had four orgasms, and they were wonderful. He came three times, and each time I could feel his hot spray inside me. It felt so good.” Moments later she had a second orgasm. Then she went to sleep.

Today she surprised me with an email proposing that we attend an upcoming athletic event. She wrote “I was thinking I could perhaps meet a mandingo man” there, meaning a black lover. I honestly don’t know if she’s teasing or not. I suggested to her that she could try CraigsList, maybe searching for “cuckold”. A few weeks ago I saw two local ads. Today there were over 1/2 dozen, including one experienced black bull.

It feels a little insane for me to be encouraging, and even suggesting, ways for my wife to find other men to fuck. I still don’t know how it will affect me if that happens. But I do know that I feel very sad that my chastity denies her the intercourse we used to have together. I want so much for her to be happy and satisfied, including being sexually fulfilled. Even if that means another man’s cock is inside her.

I’ve also created a new page called My Stats. I won’t be impressing anyone with my chastity duration anytime soon. But I want to be tracking it. I plan to also track a few other significant things, like: intercourse denial, my last orgasm, milkings (eventually), and number other orgasms since I’ve been locked up. I’m open to other suggestions.

One last note for today: I think I may have discovered someone where I work who is also in chastity. I may be wrong, but I think he also has to sit to pee – why else would that be? I’m going to continue to observe and see if I ever see him at the urinal. What are the odds that another guy who works on my floor is locked up?

I feel more humiliated each day as I walk past real men who can pee standing, on my way to sit in a stall instead. Sitting there dribbling past the PA-lock and cage, I sound like a girl using the toilet. Looking down I see my satin and lace panties, with a pantyliner (for drips). Many times a day this routine reinforces what I have become: a chastised sissy.

As a bonus for today, here is a link to another story I enjoyed recently on Altarboy’s chastity site: Letter from Shana.

Advanced Cuckolding

[ This is an original fantasy story, a continuation of the Cuckold Initiation story. Please attribute properly. ]

It’s been about 6 months now since my wife and her boyfriend Richard initiated me as her cuckolded husband. I have written previously about that experience.

Two months ago Richard moved in with us. He has taken over many of the things which used to be “mine”, the most significant of course being my wife. He’s moved into the master bedroom with her. They now share the closet we used to share for our clothes, and he now uses the dressers and nightstand that I used to use. And of course he sleeps each night with my wife in the bed she and I used to share.

But that’s only the beginning of the changes that have happened since I became her cuckold.

Richard makes more money that I did, so they had me quit my job. I now dress as a woman 24×7, and stay home to take care of the house, cook, clean, do their laundry and errands, and more. I even go shopping as a woman now. Fortunately I am very passable, and it’s never been a problem.

They’ve decided that I should have real breasts as well. One of them watches every morning to ensure that I ingest the hormone cocktail they found on-line, which is pretty rapidly reforming my body. My breasts have grown to nearly C-cups, my nipples hre substantially larger and more sensitive, and my body fat is redistributing.

I think my testicles are shrinking too, and I’m certain my cock doesn’t get hard as it used to. I used to really strain against my chastity device, and the spikes inside the cage used to really bit into my glans. But lately it just feels snug when I get aroused, and the spikes don’t seem to dig as deep. I suspect that the hormones will eventually make me impotent. My wife still talks about castrating me, and at this rate there won’t be any reason not to do so.

Richard sometimes likes rough sex, which my wife is not into at all. So they decided he could use me as his slut whore when he is feeling like he wants to get aggressive sexually. If work was particularly stressful, he will use me when he comes home, often forcefully face and/or throat fucking me until he cums. I’m learning to accept it.

At bedtime there are other little rituals they enjoy. If my wife doesn’t want to suck Richard hard, they make me do it. Other times they have me lay on my back and Richard sits on my chest and dangles his balls in my mouth. He likes it when I run my tongue around his scrotum while I suck gently on his hairy balls. It’s humiliating to watch my wife’s lips slide up and down his fine cock as I stimulate his manly balls to produce more cum.

Here is another rough ritual they both enjoy often. They tie my ankles to the foot of the bed corners, bend me forward, and truss my wrists to the corners at the top of the bed. If Richard does ties me up, he likes to make the bondage very tight. They put two thick foam pads under my waist to get my ass to just the right height for Richard’s cock. My genitals point down, so that as Richard fucks me I can feel his large manly balls slapping against my small, shrinking nuts.

My wife then lays on the bed with her legs spread and her pussy about a foot from my face. She plays with herself and masturbates while watching my face as Richard has his way with me. She like to smear her pussy juices under my nose, since her smell forces me to try to get hard. I’ve realized this conditions me to eroticize what happens afterwards. Richard steps behind me and spreads my ass cheeks far apart with his strong hands. In that moment I feel (and am) utterly helpless yet very turned on.

One of Richard’s favorite techniques is to put the tip of his cock right at my anus and move it in little circles. By his moans I suspect this really turns him on. During this time he expects me to hold my anus tightly closed. Then, without warning, he will plow his cock all the way into me. This usually makes me scream and start to cry.

My wife loves that part. Often she will encourage him to do it again. And again. He pulls completely out, and when he’s ready, slams balls-deep into me again. My wife usually brings herself to orgasm during this part while I’m screaming and crying. Sometimes Richard will make be beg for more, which is humiliating and degrading. I always comply, and feel like an utterly debased sex object, which is appropriate, since I am.

The intensity of the invasion that his thick, hard cock causes as he rams it past my tightened little asshole is impossible to describe. Once he’s done piledriving, then Richard will usually take his time fucking me, sometimes 20 minutes or more. He seems to enjoy calling me all sorts of names like his bitch, slut, whore, a wimp, pussy, and faggot. I end up craving his orgasm, since feeling his cum finally spraying inside me ends the anal onslaught. I always have to thank him afterwards.

Since Richard prefers that my anus remain tight to maximize his pleasure, they avoid using butt plugs or dildoes on me. My ass would probably hurt less afterwards, but I realize that Richard’s pleasure is more important. The one exception is our heavy metal plug, which Richard has me use for anal training. Every morning I do my “exercises” which involves tightening my sphincter to hold it inside as long as possible. I have to chart my reps and durations so they can monitor my progress.

Richard also doesn’t like to use much lube. In fact, just a little of his spit, whatever is left after it runs down my ass crack, is usually all he uses. He doesn’t like it too slippery, the friction arouses him more. The result, however, is that my anus ends up pretty raw and sore. That’s another reason why I cry while he rapes me, but his pleasure comes before mine.

Sometimes they have me sleep in what they call the Slave’s Room, which is my bedroom. Sometimes they tie me up for the night just for fun, sometimes not. For punishment they will make me drink lots of water (or their pee) before bed, or even make me administer one (or more) enema solutions to myself. I have to put on a diaper and plastic pants — my bed already has a waterproof mattress cover. After a night of bondage in my own waste, I usually have learned a valuable lesson.

Most nights I am fortunate enough to join them in the master bedroom. There is a mat on the floor at the foot of their bed. A padlock is used to lock my chastity device to a short chain at the foot of the bed. So literally, my cock is chained to the foot of the bed that my wife shares with her lover. Richard had me install buttons for the two of them which release a retracting key for the padlock. In that way they let me unlock myself to do things for them after they’ve gone to bed.

One of these night-time chores is being their urinal. They don’t have to get out of bed, walk through the cold house all the way down the hall, just to use the toilet. I save them the trip and pee on their behalf later. I’ve found that I prefer to drink their night piss, since morning urine has a much stronger and less desirable taste and smell.

When Richard wants to pee, he will sit up on the end of the bed and I put slippers on his feet. Then I get between his legs and he puts his limp cock in my mouth. He’s trained me to guzzle properly. I swallow 10 times, then he stops his stream so I can take a breath. This repeats until his bladder is empty. I then relock myself at the foot of the bed. I’m not allowed to wake them to use the bathroom myself nor wear diapers in the master bedroom. So some nights I don’t get much sleep because my bladder is so very full. They insist this is good training, and that my bladder will enlarge so it can hold and more more over time.

Of course they make love while I’m chained to the bed. At least twice a week I get to hear them enjoying each others bodies while they completely ignore me. I’m so happy that Richard is able to provide so much pleasure to my wife. It is music to my ears to hear her enjoy his attentions, and to orgasm thanks to his cock, hands, tongue, or whatever. It’s so important to me that she be sexually satisfied.

During the days, Richard sometimes has me do favors for him with some of his work clients. Typically this involves me delivering some paperwork to a client at their hotel, as they are usually from out of town. Richard sets it up so that about half the time they are expecting me to give them a blow job as well. I don’t know when Richard has or hasn’t told the client, but my orders are to ensure they are fully satisfied.

During the days, Richard sometimes has me do favors for him with some of his work clients. Typically this involves me delivering some paperwork to a client at their hotel, as they are usually from out of town. Richard sets it up so that about
half the time they are expecting me to give them a blow job as well. I don’t know when Richard has or hasn’t told the client, but my orders are to ensure they are fully satisfied.

It’s an interesting predicament. I can’t risk them not using me for their pleasure, since they might expect it. I’ll be punished if they didn’t “get some”. But they tend to be cautious so it’s impossible for me to tell who knows and who doesn’t. I end up awkwardly letting them know that I “want them to be fully satisfied with my services”. They usually take the hint, and before long their cum is trickling down my throat. A few have gone further and forcably raped my ass, but I don’t dare say anything. I bring a sanitary pad just in case so that, as I’m driving home, their cum running out my behind doesn’t mess up my clothes or the car.

Richard and my wife entertain in our house too. Sometimes I am just a vanilla maid; no one seems to really notice. For their sex parties they outfit me in various embarrassing ways in order to ridicule me as the sissy, chaste, cuckold husband of the hostess. One time I had to serve the guests all night dressed as a baby, wearing ten diapers at once, a bonnet, and pacifier. I was required to suck on a baby bottle that they kept refilling with their piss. All their guests are free to use me as they wish during their sex parties.

The good news is that my wife has wonderful sex with Richard. They make love several times a week, as far as I know, perhaps much more than that. They don’t hide it, in fact they prefer that I am aware. My wife makes use of me as her “cum dump”, letting Richard’s big loads run out of her pussy into my mouth. She much prefers this to “wasting it down the toilet” and having to walk to the bathroom herself. I always have to thank Richard for the privilege of swallowing his cum.

One Saturday they gave me a long list of household chores to complete. They were going out for a full day of shopping, eating out, driving around, and having fun. I had to wear my locking 4-inch heels with a short chain between my ankles, which was just long enough to permit me to use the stairs. My elbows were tied 18 inches apart behind my back. My wrists were locked to an 18-inch spreader bar in front of me, and that bar was chained to my locking collar. They took all the keys with them, so there was no chance for me to get unlocked.

Most chores were much, much more difficult in this bondage. I could sit to pee, of course, but could not reach to clean my ass (which explained the series of large enemas early in the morning). About noon Richard called to tell me a client was stopping by to drop off some papers for him. I was nervous as I opened the door for him, being tied up as I was. It wasn’t long before he had made me suck him hard and then brutally raped me. He seemed to really enjoy himself.

After he left I tried to catch up on my chores. I did not complete them all. Understandably, I was punished severely. Perhaps another time I will share the details of that extensive “corrective experience”.

My life has certainly been transformed. Looking back at my cuckold initiation, I was just a sissy, pantied, chaste, cuckold husband. Now I am also a maid, slave, whore, toilet, servant, cum-dump, sex toy, and she-male. I don’t dare predict
what they plan for me in the future, although things like eunich or transexual seem like possibilities.

A sissy can always dream.

Cuckold Initiation

[ This is an original fantasy story; please attribute properly ]

A few days ago my wife mentioned that she had invited a special friend over this weekend. She was excited about the visit and about me meeting Richard, but she didn’t provide a lot of details. I detected a coy attitude as she talked about it, and slightly sexy inflections when she mentioned him. But I didn’t ask questions, it seemed normal enough, probably just an old friend. She has been reconnecting with a lot of people thanks to Facebook.

Saturday came, and she reminded me that he was coming over. She said it would be for dinner and some activities afterwards. I assumed she meant something like Scrabble. Boy was I wrong.

About 3 hours before his planned arrival time, my wife showered. I remember noticing, because she had also showered in the morning. She also called me in to shave her legs, a submissive thing she has me do for her sometimes. She teased me with her luscious pussy as I carefully ran the razor across her thighs.

After drying her hair, she started to get busy in the kitchen cooking. I offered to help, but she said she wanted me to go get ready instead. I asked her what she meant, and she said “Oh, didn’t I tell you? Richard is really cool about crossdressers. I told him you like to dress up, and we thought it would be fun for all of us. So I’d like you to go put on your maid’s uniform. I think your white thigh-highs with a garter would be nice, with black heels, and take some time with your hair and makeup.”

I was stunned. But also a bit excited. It would be the first time that we would entertain at our house with me crossdressed. I agreed, and went upstairs to get ready. After about 45 minutes I was ready. I thought I looked pretty good, and went downstairs to present myself to my wife.

She looked me over and decided I looked presentable. She told me to set the table, which I proceeded to do. She was finishing up the meal, putting things into the oven and microwave. Then she said “I’m going upstairs to get ready myself now. If Richard arrives before I come down, let him in, take his coat, and visit in the living room. Meanwhile, I want you to sweep the living room and kitchen floors.” I curtsied and replied “Yes, Ma’am”.

While sweeping, I realized just how distracted I was about this whole evening. I hadn’t even noticed that she had me set the table for two, not three people. There were also several nice candles on the table. It was then I knew she was planning on having me be their personal servant during dinner. The maid’s outfit suddenly made more sense. Well, that was fine, I like that role.

I finished sweeping and was straightening up the living room when the doorbell rang. My heels clacked on our hardwood floors as I went to the front door and opened it. “Hello, you must be Richard!” I said in my feminized voice. He looked me over, and boldly stepped in and past me.

“Yes, of course,” he said, “and you must be the sissy husband.” I was a bit taken aback by his straighforward statement, but it was of course true, so I replied “Yes, Sir”. He took off his coat and handed it to me, and proceeded to walk over to the couch and sit down. I hung his coat in the closet, and hesitated about what to do or say next.

Just then a door opened upstairs, and I looked up to see my wife coming down the stairs. I could not believe what I was seeing. She was dressed stunningly and extremely sexy. She had on a short dress that showed her figure beautifully, pretty heels, bare legs, and as I looked up the stairs at her I could see she was not wearing any panties. I’m pretty sure I stood there in shock with my mouth open.

By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, Richard was there with open arms, and they embraced. Right in front of me they kissed deeply, and their arms were around each other. Then he was looking her over, telling her how stunning she looked, and that dinner smelled wonderful. I noticed both his hands were tightly cupping her lovely ass and pressing her body against his.

Clearly enjoying his strong embrace, my wife turned to me and said “Go to the kitchen and put the food on the table for the two of us. Light the candles, and run the microwave for 2 minutes.” They went resumed kissing, their moans and the clacking of my heels the only sounds.

I started the microwave, brought some food to the table, and lit the candles for them. Before long they joined me in the kitchen. The two of them sat down, him holding her chair. They talked between themselves as I served. Once all the food was out, I just stood nearby, awaiting further instructions. They chatted and began eating, mostly ignoring me. Richard said he wanted some catsup, so I retrieved it from the refrigerator for him. And my wife needed her water glass refilled.

Eventually my wife addressed me directly. “Sissy, come here.” I stood next to her. “If you haven’t already figured it out, Richard is my new boyfriend. As you can see we are becoming very good friends. We will probably be seeing much more of each other in the future.” What could I say, but “Yes, Ma’am”. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant exactly by “boyfriend”.

My wife continued, “After dinner we have an initiation for you. I won’t tell you exactly what will happen, but I will tell you that I expect you to comply with everything that either I or Richard tell you to do. If you even hesitate, I will instantly add another 6 months to your chastity time. For each offense. Is that understood?” “Yes, Ma’am”. Ok, this was getting pretty serious now.

Richard asked to see my chastity device, and my wife said “Lift up your dress, Sissy. Show Richard the tiny, useless cock you have.” I walked over to Richard, lowered my panties, and raised the front of my dress. He looked down and laughed. “Unbelievable. No wonder your wife is not sexually satisfied. Your dick is a joke. It’s pretty damn obvious why she calls it utterly limp and worthless.”

He asked if my cage had spikes, and I replied “No, Sir.” Richard suggested that my wife consider having them added so that my attempts at erections would cause significant pain. He pointed out to my wife that, over time, this would extinguish that annoying sexual reaction. He said he liked the idea of having the only functional cock in the house. My wife said she’d look into having spikes added to my chastity device.

My wife said to Richard “Her little clitty is always less than two inches. That’s smaller than my pinky! Isn’t that hilarious?” She held up her pinky, bent over like my limp, worthless cock. They both laughed. “A baby’s dick is bigger than that!” Richard said, and they both howled with laughter. My wife leaned over and whispered something to Richard that I couldn’t hear. They both laughed and laughed at that.

Finally they stopped laughing, and my wife said “Put your dress down, dear, stop flashing our guest.” I lowered my dress and my head, feeling very embarassed. My wife noticed, and laughed. “Look, her sissy cheeks are all red. She loves this. ” They both chuckled again.

Richard continued to ridicule me. “Your wife tells me you actually like to dress like this, and that you even put your own makeup on, is that true?” I replied “Yes, Sir.” He laughed again. “I wasn’t sure whether to believe that. But you really are a sissy. That’s a really pathetic excuse for a husband. Your wife deserves a hell of a lot better, doesn’t she?” Again, “Yes, Sir.” He replied “She sure does,” leaned over to her, and they kissed again.

They went back to talking between themselves. Richard asked some detailed questions about my chastity, how often she lets me cum, whether I am permitted masturbation or intercourse, and other very personal questions. My wife gladly told him everything, even how she milked my prostate and fed me my own cum. That made Richard shudder with disgust. He said he had never tasted cum, but that it was appropriate for sissies to learn to love it. He looked at me, and I said “Yes, Sir.”

My wife also offered that, like a true sissy, I enjoyed being a total cock slut and taking it up the ass. “I suppose you could hire her out as a cock whore and earn some money that way.” My wife seemed to consider the idea, then they both burst out laughing again.

They finished their food and my wife got up from the table. She told me to clean the table, put the food away, fill the dishwasher, and then meet them at the couch. Richard followed her out to the living room, but then I heard them both go upstairs and into our bedroom. I was relieved to hear them come back downstairs after only about a minute.

I cleaned up the kitchen and dishes, listening to their talking and laughing wafting in from the living room. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they were clearly enjoying each other’s company. They also talked more quietly at times, and I suspect they were planning the next events.

Eventually I finished my chores and joined them in the living room. My wife was sitting on Richard’s lap and had his arms around him. He was kissing her neck and fondling one of her breasts inside her dress. His other hand was very high on her inner thigh. Her eyes were closed, and she was clearly enjoying his attentions. I stood there quietly, watching and waiting. Richard seemed to be taking his time fonding my wife in front of me.
Eventually my wife opened her eyes, and noticed me standing there. “Isn’t it nice to see your wife getting some well-deserved attention from a Real Man?” she asked. I could only respond with “Yes, Ma’am.” They looked at each other briefly and
smiled, and then she said “Sissy, do you remember what I said about obeying tonight?” “Yes, Ma’am, I clearly remember”. I had already endured 2 months of chastity, and only had 6 weeks left before my next release. Six more months was very scary. She said “Good” and moved off his lap to sit next to Richard.

He then addressed me. “I hear that you are a pretty good cocksucker. Let’s see. Get going, and no teeth.” I was shocked again, but realized that I was starting to hesitate, which would be disasterous. So I sat down next to him and reached to unbuckle his pants. He stopped me, pointed to the floor between his feet, and said “No, down there. On your knees where you belong.”

My wife giggled, and I got off the couch. He moved his legs apart, and I knelt on the floor between his knees, facing his crotch. He allowed me to unbuckle his pants this time, and I pulled them along with his boxers down to his thighs. His cock was thick and semi-hard, and he had lots of pubic hair. A very manly smell wafted up. I looked up at my wife and she lightly nodded, indicating “get busy”.

I took Richards cock in my mouth gently, holding it between my lips. The tip of his cock was in my mouth and I worked my tongue around it. He moaned and put his head back. I felt him getting harder as I licked and sucked. I used all my
techniques on him, and after a while he started bucking his hips as if to fuck my mouth.
At that point my wife stood up and said that it was time to go upstairs. I looked at her, and she was grinning and looking at Richard. The instructions she gave me next were yet another surprise for this completely unexpected evening.

“Sissy, you will now go up to our bedroom and take off your dress and your panties. Sit on the chair, and tie yourself securely to it. Put in the ball gag and put on the blindfold. Then use the handcuffs to lock your wrists behind your back. When you are ready, stomp 3 times on the floor. Go. Now.”

My wife turned her attention to Richards cock, wrapping her hand around it and gently stroking it. I went upstairs and did as instructed. I found the chair had been moved from its usual location to be at the bottom corner of our bed. I partially disrobed, and sat in the chair in my bra, garter, stockings and heels. Some white rope was on the floor by the chair, and I used it to firmly ties my ankles and waist to the chair legs.

I enjoy bondage, so just this was enough for me to be aroused. My cock strained against the cage. I put in the ball gag and blindfolded myself. I closed one end of the handcuffs around one wrist. With my hands behind my back I closed the second cuff around my other wrist. My heart was pounding. As directed, I clomped my heel on the floor three times and waited.

After a few minutes I heard the two of them enter the bedroom. They were very quiet. My senses felt like they were on overdrive, as I listening intently. I heard my wife crawl onto the bed. “Ok,” she said, “remove Sissy’s blindfold and then join me here on the bed.” Richard walked over to me and took off the blindfold. It was bright, and as my eyes adjusted I saw that my wife was completely naked on our bed, looking at me and smiling.

Richard, still standing next to me, started taking off his clothes. My wife got up and rubbed her body against Richard, who reached out and gave her lovely ass a squeeze. She walked around behind me, and then rubbed her bare breasts against the side of my face. Her nipples were large and harder than I’d seen in a very long time.

She pointed across the room to something I hadn’t noticed. It looked like a cell phone on a little tripod, pointing at me. “Richard’s recording a video of this on his phone. Isn’t that cool?” With the gag in, I could only mumble. “Now I will tell you about your initiation. You’re going to watch Richard fuck me. Isn’t that wonderful?!”

I tried to talk but couldn’t. She put her finger gently over my lips and whispered “Shhhhh. Just relax, little Sissy. I know you want this as much as I do.” I let out a little whine. She gave me a look that told me I was dangerously close to some very bad consequences. Richard was now naked, and he crawled onto the bed that my wife and I sleep on every night together.

My wife leaned over and lifted my chastity device a bit, apparently for the camera. “Isn’t it true that you have a tiny, useless cock?” I nodded my head. She said “I can’t hear you!”. Through the gag I tried to say “Yes, Mistress” as I more vigorously nodded. “So you admit that your dick is worthless to me. There is no hope of it ever satisfying me, is there?”. My words, “No Mistress” were again garbled, as I shook my head back and forth.

She slowly crawled onto the bed next to Richard. “Since my own husband can’t satisfy me, I had to find a lover with a Real Man’s Cock who can satisfy me. Sissy, you want your wife to be happy, right? You want me to fuck Richard right here and now in front of you, isn’t that right?” My choice was six more months in chastity, or to agree right now.

I nodded my head. “Say it nice and loud!” she said. I said “Please Mistress, fuck Richard,” but it was a mumble. “Louder!” she said. I repeated it, and it was almost understandable. They both snickered. “Sissy, it will be our pleasure to initiate you as a cuckold. Enjoy the show.”

Richard was on his back, and I watched as my wife straddled him. She has very strong legs, and sheh took her time lowering her pussy onto the tip of his very hard cock. Richard’s penis is average in length, but noticably thick. My wife is smaller in stature and definitely not a size queen. She prefers quality to quantity — although apparently I have too little of both for her tastes.

Richard took her breasts in his hands and gently kneeded them. She slowly started bobbing up and down, and I watched his cock go deeper and deeper into her each time. He lay there, letting her warm, wet pussy hug and slide on his manhood. My wife put her head back, clearly enjoying his cock in her. They both were moaning and breathing more heavily.

I became aware that I was straining against my bonds, and I tried to relax. My cock was still trying to get hard, pointlessly of course. All two inches of my tiny dicklette were straining against the chastity cage, getting nowhere. I was grateful to hot have spikes digging into my sensitive cock flesh. I could do nothing but watch as they fucked. It didn’t take her long to reach her first orgasm.

I guess that officially made me her cuckold. The moment quietly passed.

They changed positions, and my wife laid diagonally on the bed with her pussy pointed right at me. Richard moved between her legs and took her ankles in his hands and raised them up. Between his thighs I saw my wife reach down and guide his cock towards her pussy. He gently and slowly slide his cock into her again.

This time he was fucking her. Another man was fucking my wife, right in front of me, on our bed, as I sat watching helplessly. The concept hit some chord in me, and I started to quietly cry. It was blurry, but I watched his manly penis sweetly pleasuring my wife.

I was awestruck by how fascinating it was to warch his cock slide in and out of my wife’s vagina. Of course I had fucked my own wife before (although not for many months now), but I had never really seen it. It was magical! As he pulled back, her labia lips revealed themselves and wrapped snuggly around his glistening shaft. When he pushed back inside her, her tender flesh folded inside and hugged his cock even tighter. It was beautiful. More tears.

Of course I longed for that to be my cock, caressing her from the inside, feeling her warm wetness. Instead of the hard, oppressive steel cage, I craved to be a Real Man enjoying sex with my wife like Richard was. It wasn’t long before the crescendo of her moaning signaled her second orgasm.

He stopped, and I recognized her gently sighs as her being in that wonderful, post-orgasmic space that I love to see her in. My tears kept quietly flowing. I felt joy, pure happiness for the pleasure she was savoring. Those feelings mixed inside me with the sad reality of my inability to provide adequate sex to my own wife. I felt grateful for Richard.

He manuvered himself and her gently, spooning with her. He slipped inside her pussy again from behind and gently rocked his hips as they both began moaning again. It didn’t take long for her to orgasm again. It surprised me to realize just how horny she was tonight. And he really had impressive stamina. I was happy my wife had such a capable lover.

He kissed her and she rolled over to face him, wrapping her arms and her legs around his body. He caressed her hair, gently running his hands along her curves, her ass, her thighs. She whispered to him, he nodded, and she whispered some more. Even after three orgasms, I suspected she was orchestrating at least one more.

She layed diagonally on the bed again, on her back, but this time with her head near me. She reached out and held my chastity device in her hand and looked at me. She saw my tears and smiled. I looked pleadingly at her, but Richard had manuvered between her legs and was entering her. Her eyes slowly closed as she felt him filling her pussy for the fourth time. He held himself there, fully inside her.

She opened her eyes. “There is an important cuckold ritual next that will complete your initiation. Are you ready?” I nodded. “Good. I’m going to let Richard cum inside me now.” My eyes got big and she saw my shock. She calmly continued “Oh yes. Richard is going to fill my pussy with his semen and sperm. It’s going to be wonderful! Then I’m going to empty my pussy into your mouth. I expect you to enjoy and swallow every single drop.” I nodded meekly.

Richard started fucking my wife at that point, slowly at first, then more quickly. Her eyes closed, but her hand was still around my chastity device. Their bodies moved back and forth as they copulated, and her hand moved back and forth between my thighs. I wasn’t able to feel anything on my cock, of course.

He was watching her carefully. I realized he was timing his release so they would have simultaneous orgasms. I marveled again at his impressive lovemaking skills. Their breathing got faster and their moans increased. Oh the pleasure they were having that I had not felt in months! I sat helplessly watching as they both built to their climaxes.

And then it happened. Her orgasm started, and he followed her lead. I could see his tempo change, and it was clear that he was pumping his cum into her. My wife startled a little, and I suspect she felt the force of his spray inside her. Their moans were more like yells as he pumped her full of his manly load. They slowly wound down, and he lowerd himself to all fours above her, with his cock still inside her.

After a short while they both caught their breath, and they kissed. She really kissed him, clearly thanking him for one of the best rounds of sex she had ever had. She whispered in his ear, and he reached over for two pillows. Pulling out of her, he quickly put the pillows under her ass, elevating her hips. Obviously they didn’t want any of his seed slipping out of her.

He then walked over to me and unbuckled the ball gag. My wife said “Sissy, show your appreciation to Richard for doing an incredible job satisfying your wife. Clean his fabulous cock.” Looking at his cock I could see some white splotches of his cum, it was wet and slick with my wifes juices, and I recognized the smell of my wife’s pussy. Richard stood in front of me, put his hand behind my head, and stuffed his semi-hard cock all the way in my mouth. I sucked and cleaned his cock as best I could. I could taste more salty cum as it dribbled out of his penis onto my tongue.

He pulled his cock out of my mouth, and then surprised me by turning my chair around. Before I knew what was happening, he had tipped the chair back on the bed. The top of the chair and my head rested on the bed. I was looking up at the ceiling.

In a moment my wife was kneeling above me, and she was holding her pussy lips together with her fingers. “Now, Sissy, it is time to complete your cuckolding. By eating his seed from me, you accept your role as my fully cuckolded husband from this point forward.” She did not wait for an answer and lowered her pussy onto my mouth, removing her hand at the last moment.

I gently licked her labia, again tasting both of their sexual flavors. I slid my tongue between her lips and got a surprise. What seemed like a whole cup of warm, salty sperm poured from her vagina into my mouth, coating my tongue. I swallowed several times. She directed me to take my time and clean her deeply and thoroughly.

She sat there on my face for quite a while as I worked on the inside and outside of her pussy, cleaning and swallowing as much of their juices as I could get. Richard sat down opposite her and they resumed kissing. My tongue muscles were getting sore from all the cleaning, first of Richard, then of her.

Abruptly she got up. The two of them tipped my chair back up and turned me toward the camera. She sat down on the bed and looked at me. “Tell me what you are now,” she said. Trying not to hesitate, but struggling to come up with the words she wanted to hear, I said “I am now your cuckold husband.”

She smiled, and said “Go on.” I wasn’t sure what to say, but I could not risk hesitating. “I am happy that you have such a capable lover that can satisfy you, since I cannot. Thank you for allowing me to watch. Thank you for feeding me his cum from your pussy. I want you to have as much pleasure as you want, since I am sexually useless to you.” I hoped that was what she was looking for. I was suddenly aware again that all of this was being recorded on Richard’s phone.

My wife continued “That’s very good, just one more thing. Do you want me to keep fucking other men?” The look on her face made it clear that there was just one correct answer. I responded immediately. “Please, dear, I want you to feel free to fuck as many other men as you wish. My worthless cock means nothing, so please find Real Men with Real Cocks that can give you the pleasure you deserve.” She smiled.

“Is this what you really want? What you really, truly want?” she asked. “Yes, Ma’am, it is.” The smile on her face made it clear that she completely agreed.

So it’s official. In addition to being her pantied, sissy, chaste husband, I am now her cuckold as well. I am lucky, and I am glad that she is so very happy.

[ Story continues with “Advanced Cuckolding” ]

Tiny really is tiny

Last night my wife spent some time comparing her new vibrator with tiny (her name for my cock).  It was a bit of a shock to have to face this reality, but tiny really is smaller than I realized.

I suppose most men have a somewhat inflated sense about the size of their cocks.  I have always considered myself slightly above average in length and at least average thickness.  But I think I’ve been proved wrong.

We were in bed and she was teasing me with her vibrator, stimulating tiny and my nipples.  It was very erotic and tiny got as hard as he’s been in weeks.  Then came the shock: she put her vibrator next to my cock and her vibrator was significantly longer.

Her vibrator is not some monster unit. The box says it is 5.25 inches long. Tiny was definitely smaller by more than a quarter-inch, which means, sadly, that my erect cock is significantly less than 5 inches long.  That is quite a blow.

“Well that explains quite a lot, doesn’t it?” she asked.  “Yes Maam”.  “It’s probably quite embarassing for you to realize that this little vibrator is bigger than your cock, isn’t it?”  “Yes Maam. It’s very clear now that I have an inadequate cock. I’m sorry.”  She tried to console me, “Well, you can’t help it if you were born with a small and barely useful penis.  At least I now have this so that I can finally feel something inside me.”

I told her I was very happy that she was able to get sufficient pleasure from her new toy.  She pointed out that besides the larger size, her vibrator had other wonderful features.  Yes, it has various vibration settings, but she also pointed out that it was always hard and so it could never disappoint her.  She also said she liked how it didn’t make a mess, that it didn’t bother her with it’s own needs, and that she could just keep it in a drawer until she felt horny.

She then proceeded to use it to orgasm while I watched.  It felt like a new experience, though, as the truth settled into my mind about my lack of sufficient manhood.  Watching her pleasure herself is erotic to me, and I wish that it was me inside her instead.

After her climax I was still erect, and she looked over at tiny and laughed.  “Look at how small tiny is!  So pathetic.  It’s almost sad,” but clearly she thought it was quite funny.  She had me smell and lick her juices off the vibrator as she belittled my hard but now shrinking dick.

Until now I felt like it was something we had played with, more of a mind-fuck than reality.  But I could not dispute that side-by-side comparison.  It was like I was seeing my own cock for the first time, as it really is – small.  All her comments in the past about it being a good size for her and such were apparently simple kindness on her part, not wanting me to feel inadequate.  I love her so much.

However, it’s now very clear to me that that I am indeed inadequate.  I’m slowly accepting that now.  My worthless cock really does need to be locked up, since masturbation is about all it is good for anymore.  I see why our future is about her sexual pleasure, not mine.  And I’m sincerely happy that her new vibrator is a great source of pleasure for her.

For those just tuning in (my readership recently spiked – yay!), my wife had tiny pierced on Saturday with a Prince Albert captive bead ring, 8 gauge.

Another development is that we went shopping for more girl panties for me to wear.  I now have over a dozen pair of both cotton and silky women’s panties.  I had to move all of my men’s underwear out of my dresser and into storage to make room.  I will be in panties every day going forward.

I think I was washing dishes when my wife asked me how I liked wearing panties.  I told her I liked it a lot, they were comfortable and I thought they were pretty.  She said “You’re such a sissy, aren’t you?  Do you like being called a sissy?”  I told her I did, since that’s how I often see myself, especially now.  I was a little surprised how comfortable she seemed to be with that.

Later she asked me me some questions revisiting the topic of my sense of gender.  She asked straight out: “Do you ever think about having a sex change?” I told her the truth, that I do think about that, but “I know I wouldn’t pass the psychological testing for it.”

To clarify, she asked “So it’s not about feeling you are the wrong gender in your body?”  Again I answered honestly: “No, it’s just that I’d like to experience the world as a woman, even just crossdressing.  Living like that for, say, a year, would be amazing to me.”  She queried “What about surgery?”  I responded that “I would consider it, but I accept that it’s unlikely to really happen.”  She seemed satisfied and left it at that.

I haven’t told her yet about how I’ve been feeling jealous about her sexy body.  I look at her lovely breasts, her sexy shape, her beautiful vulva and tantalizing clitoris, and I wish I had those features.  Maybe someday I can tell her how I wish I had pretty breasts and a vagina that men could use for their pleasure.

Again, I don’t want to read too much into all this.  But her reinforcing that my cock is puny and inadequate, her ongoing interest in castrating me, and the multiple discussions about me having a sex change – it all seems just a little frightening, in a good way, I think.  I feel quite sure the surgical items are just a mind- fuck, but who knows what our future may hold.  I love that she accepts me as I am and that she is willing to hear my truth.  The rest I continue to completely turn over to her.

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