44 Days and Counting

Mistress continues to leave me locked up with no sign of release. It’s been 44 days now since my last orgasm, one of the longest times I have gone without. She still shows no interest in my genitals at all.

I’ve been wondering if I might wake up some morning to a mess (nocturnal emission), but I haven’t yet. I haven’t had to put up with a lot of tease and denial, so it could be that I don’t have much fluid built up.

I have been wondering if I should try to milk myself again. I’ve tried a few times with little or no success. I even have an Aneros prostrate massager, but even that hasn’t been effective.

Things have been a little more stressed in our relationship. The gender transition thing is taking some toll, both as a near-constant source of attention and focus, and as an emotional drain particularly for her. Tonight I got all stressed out because I didn’t have what I needed to wear under the dress I had been looking forward to wearing out with friends tonight. It sure is different for me to care so much about how I look when I go out. Guys really do have it easy.

In four days I’ll be getting evaluated for starting female hormones. Mistress talks about looking forward to my breast growth, particularly how much my chest will hurt as it happens. She wants to poke and pinch and squeeze them to give me even more pain. I expect she will really like to bite them as well.

She also talks about how the hormones will work to make tiny (her name for my cock) even more worthless (“If that’s even possible”, as she says). They will make my testicles shrink and reduce or eliminate my male sex drive. She teases me regularly about how it won’t make much difference to her, since my “useless excuse for a cock never did much for [her] anyway”).

Yesterday her sister was over at our house. She brought her two little dogs. I came into the kitchen and saw my dog dish on the floor with dog food in it for her sister’s dogs. The same pink dog dish I have my breakfast in. Her sister didn’t know, but Mistress did. She saw that I noticed and she smiled that knowing smile that says “oh yes, I know this is humiliating for you – too bad!”.

My last male orgasm, over a month ago now, wasn’t that great so I haven’t feel very compelled towards another. Especially since the “female orgasms” that Mistress lets me have now and then are so much nicer.

I wonder how long Mistress will keep me locked up. We don’t talk about it, so I have no idea what her goals or plans are – if any. Perhaps she just considers tiny “locked away for good”. I’ve forgotten what an erection feels like. The sensation of stroking my hand against my cock is just a distant memory now.


  1. Guys do have it easy. Hang in there Sweetie.

    • Dominant wifes forget often their sub husbands in chastity cage. They simply haven’t the same time scale than men. But keeping a a man in chastity more than 1 month doesn’t change the feeling of lack of orgasm. The hormonal peek is about at 2 weeks, after the hormones rates is decreasing. The only thing which could happen, is noctural emission after 2 months at least.

      i’ve read most of your posts yesterday. I’m a sub from a no english speaking state (sorry for my english so). What’s surprised me is the security concern about the chastity : the PA lock (very impressive), the biometric safe, the managing of the keys…

      Is your keyholder doesn’t trust you, although you write you didn’t try to escape ?

      And don’t worry about your pink dog dish… while it’s only a rent for the sister’s dog. The next time in same occasion it could be empty waiting for you !

      • @abroad reader: Thanks for writing! The high security is something I have wished for, because I don’t even want the possibility of escaping. I don’t want it to be my choice. I want her to have all the control. Since she is my dominant Mistress (as well as my wife), one way I can submit myself to her is by giving her full control over my genitals. I appreciate your comments and questions.

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