Fem-O and P

Mistress just used me as her urinal. “Come here, quickly!” she called from down the hall in the bathroom. I hurried in and she directed me to kneel down so she could pee in my mouth. I positioned my head and she started pissing. I quickly swallowed repeatedly to get it all down without spilling or choking. She was giggling and smiling, and when she was done she seemed pretty pleased with how it went (so to speak).

I recently bought her a GoGirl, which is a soft rubber funnel-like thing that allows women to pee standing up. No, really – see for yourself.  Only about $13, reusable, portable, comfortable, and good for female domination too!  You might find it at a local medical supply store. I was hoping she’d use it with me.

She said she plans to use it a lot more, particularly in our bedroom in the evenings and overnight to save her trips down the hall to the bathroom. She plans to stand next to my side of the bed, relieve herself, and then just crawl right back into bed. I guess I’ll be peeing for both of us now. She also talked about how handy it will be for traveling (no more waiting for a wayside rest stop!).

I’ve had fantasies of being used this way for many years now. Of course there are plenty of on-line stories about this. But real-life isn’t always like the fantasies. For example, daytime urine usually isn’t too terrible (depending on diet, of course). But morning pee can be pretty potent, but that’s just bonus humiliation. As with so many other things, it’s up to her now going forward.

Some irony about this occurs to me. While I’m locked in chastity, I have to pee sitting down on the toilet. Now with her GoGirl, she can pee standing up. A curious reversal.

My transgender journey continues. This week I met with the psychologist who will be coordinating my overall care, including recommendations for hormones and (hopefully eventually) surgery so that I can fully transition to be a woman.

I dressed as a female for my appointment with him and it went really well. I felt confident and comfortable, and think I did well answering his questions about my background.

I’m also interacting on-line with other transgendered folks to learn and ask questions. I shared an amazing discovery from that group with my wife earlier this week: the idea that a (transitioning) male can have a female orgasm. The idea is to provide sexual and sensual stimulation that doesn’t include the male genitals. I showed her what I read on-line, and she said “We’re going to try that – tonight!”

And we did it. I had a female orgasm. A few days later we tried again and succeeded. We were both a little surprised, in fact I went into in not really believing that I could do it. But… wow.

It really helped that my wife is bisexual – she knows how to pleasure a woman’s body She also knows what a female orgasm looks like. There’s a flushing of darker color that often happens on the neck and upper chest, followed by a whole-body experience of wave after wave of amazing feelings. And she saw me go through both.

Another fascinating effect we noticed both times: tiny (her name for my cock) wasn’t hard right before, during, or after these female orgasms. It was a different physiological experience altogether. No pre-cum, no ejaculation, not even much of an attempt at erection.

I won’t go into details of exactly what we did. I want to encourage male chastity, which is in major part about orgasm denial. Finding another way to have an orgasm while in chastity sort of defeats the purpose. Actually, I’m not sure I could accomplish it by myself anyway. The first time she had tied me to the bed, and the bondage helped me to let go.

We both noticed that my post-orgasmic attitude was different — not as crabby and male.  Yet it seems tool early to report on just how that will work out longer-term. In particular, when I start taking female hormones as part of my transgender transitioning, my body is likely become even more sensitive. I’ve read that breast growth can hurt, and that nipples can be so sensitive that even clothing can feel overly intense on them. Like others, I’ll just have to deal with that (likely with a bra).

I don’t mean to make it sound like deciding to work towards a sex change is a trivial thing. It isn’t at all. This has been a life-long issue for me. My wife of 10+ years finds it easy to validate that she’s seen it in me, to some extent, all the time we’ve been together — more clearly now that our home life allows me to crossdress whenever I’m at home.

There will be a lot of upheaval in my life. I will likely be abandoned by some of my friends and family. It will be expensive and difficult in some ways. And I have never felt more comfortable, more whole, more genuine. I have some fears, but very little doubt that this is the right path for me.

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