This is likely to be my last post as a biological male. Please feel free to follow my gender transition progress in more detail at my BloomingTime blog here on WordPress. When I next post, I’ll have traded my penis for a vagina. I’m quite excited to take this final step (Gender Confirmation Surgery)! In other news…
My wife / Mistress has been talking more about wanting heterosexual intercourse herself. My penis has not been functional (due to the feminizing hormones) for over year now. I, of course, desperately want her to be happy in all ways. So we keep talking about her having sex with men.
Even though I’m transitioning from male to female, I still want a woman for my LTR. However, I also love to have sex with men. Mistress knows this. She’s arranged for it before, and it will be up to her to decide what men will have me in the future. She also knows I have both rape and gang-bang fantasies.
Last week she sat me down so we could watch a few videos together. They were about swinging, something she’s done in the past (before we met). She also knows a couple who hosts swinging parties. At some point, once I’m fully healed (6 months?) she’s talked about arranging for us to both attend one of those parties. She’s even pondering us going to one of the larger swinging conventions/events. Wow.
Last weekend Mistress and I attended a BDSM play party for the first time in about a year. The location was new, and the dungeon was smaller. But there were a lot of people there we knew, which was awesome. We brought a friend for his first exposure to real-life, serious kinksters. We call him our “kinkling”. He got to see a few scenes and meet some great folks.
Although we brought two of our “toy bags”, Mistress had decided that we wouldn’t play with our kinkling present (it would be too awkward for all of us at this point). But she couldn’t help putting me into one scene when we came across one of the dungeon rooms.
Just off of the main dungeon was a little room. It had brick walls, and concrete for floor and ceiling. All it contained was a metal bed and mattress. But the mattress had an institutional 4-point restraint system at the ready. My knees got weak.
I’ve had fantasies about these kinds of restraints for decades, but I’d never experienced them personally. Mistress saw to that when she realized the effect they had on me.
Fully clothed, she had me lay down, and she quickly tightened them around my wrists and ankles. She kissed me on the forehead, smiled her evil smile, and left. I was “alone” and quickly determined that I could not reach any of the ties, so I literally could not escape. Easy and 100% effective full-body bondage.
Over the next 15 minutes, my mind went wild. I fast forwarded to being post-surgery, naked, and exposed to anyone. My ankles were apart, so I couldn’t close my legs. The feeling of vulnerability was stunning, and the fear this evoked surprised me. In my mind I was blindfolded or hooded and left as a plaything for whoever wanted to explore or use my body. At times I fought and thrashed and struggled against my bonds, of course to no avail.
I was sweating by the time Mistress returned and released me. It took me some time to get fully back to the present, it was that intense. She said she could see it in my eyes; she knows me well. I can’t imagine what the next time will be like. But she said I will certainly experience them again.
She also told me that a DM (dungeon monitor) talked to her as soon as she left me “alone”. She explained that she wanted me to think she was leaving me there (a mind-fuck she has used on me before), but that she would be keeping a close eye on me. I knew in this case that I was 100% safe, even if she had gone upstairs to mingle and munch with others. But it was nice to know that good dungeon safety protocols were being followed and enforced.
Just a reminder that everything in my blog is completely true. I am so thrilled to be living this life. I love my wife / Mistress with all my heart. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.